Stripped from the Headlines

NEW BLOG at Wordpress

2009-10-23T18:22:00.002+08:00

The Formidable IT Department in the face of the Siemens IT Manila Helpdesk has once again succeeded in blocking the lowly employees' only source of joy: Gmail and Blogspot. So i'm opening a new blog:

Deadpoetpoetan.wordpress.com

Tipid meals para sa mga kapos ang bulsa

2009-07-18T04:21:00.006+08:00

Lagi kong problema ang pagba-budget ng pagkain on a daily basis. Minsan iisipin ko, siguro kasya na 3K for 2 weeks, or minsan ginagawa ko nalang PhP. 1,500. Pag one-five ang binibigay ko, usually nago-grocery na'ko para ma-supplement y'ung binigay kong budget. Ang malas lang, umaabot din ng mahigit one-five ang suma ng pinang-grocery ko.

Tinanong ko tuloy y'ung officemate ko n'ung isang araw.

Ako: Hui, magkanu ba budget mo sa
pagkain?
Officemate: Eh ba't mo tinatanong?
A: Eh wala.. basta.'Di nga, magkano?
O: Hahaha, ikaw siguro nagbu-budget sa inyo no?S'amin
kasi, nagbibigay na'ko agad ng pamalengke. PhP. 700 yun weekly, 'di pa kasama
yung bigas.
A: Eh pa'no 'yung grocery.
O: Hindi din...

Ngek. She must be rich. So mahigit trenta mil pala siya sumweldo?

Pero hindi rin, ako nga tina-try ko magbudget, bumabagsak ako sa 600 a week na budget. Again, di pa nga kasama yung bigas. Less one hundred lang pala kumpara sa kanya.

Kaya n'ung isang araw, naisipang kong mag-collate ng mga food combinations a. k. a. the 2009 Rationalized Meal Plan.

Isa itong pagtatangkang mag-draft ng isang masustansya't makabuluhang Meal Plan para sa mga naghihirap na tulad ko.

Ligo Sardines Food Expo

Lunes = Sardinas at Malunggay

Martes = Sardinas at Kangkong

Miyerkules = Sardinas at Misua

Huwebes = Sardinas, Sotanghon at Pechay

Biyernes = Sardinas Omelette

Sabado = Sardinas and String Beans

Linggo = Guisadong Sardinas with Kamatis

Ground Pork Expo

(here's the catch: ground pork na isang guhit = for only 30 Pesos/or 25 pesos. Depende sa pag-haggle mo sa Tindera. Add Boullion Cubes for better taste)

Lunes = Guinisang Giniling with Chayote

Martes = Giniling with Cabbage

Miyerkoles = Giniling with Sitaw

Huwebes = Giniling with Sigarilyas

Biyernes = Giniling Omelette

Sabado = Giniling with Kalabasa

Linggo = Giniling with Ampalaya

Munggo Festival Week

(patay an athritis ko nito!)

Lunes = Ginisang Munggo with Hibe and Ampalaya Leaves

Martes = Ginisang Munggo with Dilis

Miyerkoles = Ginisang Munggo with Pork (100g).

Huwebes = Ginisang Munggo with Shredded Galunggong

Biyernes = Ginisang Munggo with Chicharon

Sabado = Ginisang Munggo with Kamatis

Sunday = Ginisang Munggo with side dish Tuyo

Eto naman ang version ko ng mga sikat na putaheng Pinoy. Swak nga sa budget, pero may kalam parin sa tiyan. Ang solusyon ko jan, damihan nalang ang pagkain ng kanin.

Chicken Menudo

1/4 Chicken = P30
3 half-palm sized Potatoes = P15
1 medium Carrot = P5
1 green Bell Pepper = P5 - P10.
Tomato Sauce = P15
Bawang (piso) Sibuyas (dos) at Pamintang Durog (piso)

Total = PhP 79.00 (ang mahal padin)

A bastardized version of Chop Suey with chicken as the base meat will do. At 30 pesos for a 1/4 chicken order, pwede ka nang mag mock Chop Suey

Chicken Chop Suey

1/4 Chicken = P30
A portion of cabbage = P15 or P20
Chayote = P10
Cauliflower = P25 (yung maliit lang, marami sa supermarket n'yan)
One medium sized Carrot = P5
red Bell Pepper = P5

Total = PhP 95.00 (Amfufu! Ammahal!)

Actually, most wet markets sell ready-made Chop Suey vegetable mix. Some sell it at eithetr 5 or 10 pesos per pack. Add the 35 peso chicken, presto! Mock Chop Suey for only 45 pesos!

Mabuti pa magsarciadong isda nalang tayo.

Sarciadong Tilapia

1/2 Tilapia = P40
Kamatis = P12
2 Itlog = 10
Bawang (piso) Sibuyas (dos) at pamintang durog (piso)

Total = PhP 66.00 (pwede)

Pero mas mura kung ipiprito mo nalang siya. Mura na, mabilis mo pang maihahain sa mesa.

Minsan nakakadiskarte kami sa palengke. Bibili kami ng 50 pesos worth na chicken (which is roughly around 350 to 400 grams) plus 15 pesos na potatoes. Add the 2 peso Banana Blossoms pack. Then we make a hearty, Chicken Adobo meal out of it. Add more Soy Sauce and Water para pangsabaw sa kanin.

All in all gumastos ka lang ng: Tadaa!! PhP 67.00. Pwede na.

Basta madiskarte ka, makakatipid ka talaga.

hindi pala ako post-modernista

2009-07-09T02:32:00.003+08:00

Noong una, akala ko, handa na ako sa konsepto ng post modernismo.

I found appealing the idea that there are no structures; only a bizarre, sporadic spuds of existence and non-existence in an endless expanse that is the material universe which we know today.

How shallow, to treat post modernsim as a passing fad.

I think it takes a lot of conceptual and moral deconstruction to fully realize post-modernity. Hell, i think i need a total overhaul of all my thinking modes and thought processes.

Problema lang, i hold on too much to established truths

I realized na meron akong kahanga-hanga at malalim na pananampalataya sa existence at ascendence ng higher purpose.

Nakikita ko siya sa bawat framework of realities and unrealities: pisikal man o metapisikal.

It is in the lyrics of an Italian aria by Puccini. It is strewn in the sinews of the sun-baked bricks constituting the monuments of the Mayans and Aztecs. It is in the innocent, indistinct murmuring of a hurt child in the kitchen infront his fuming aunt. It resides among the canopy of Acacias gracing the slopes of the Kilimanjaro. It is strewn along with the broken shards of a Heineken bottle on some far-off dump site in Calcutta. It is lost in between the values of X and Y on a random parabolic graph.

Nakapanuot sa kamalayan ko ang mga katotohanang ito. Hindi malayong mauwi ako sa Mandaluyong (sa loob) kung sakali mang gumuho and thought framwework na ito sa isip ko.

process improvement sa school administration environment o sa lovelife?

2009-06-20T05:12:00.012+08:00

*** Last march, nag-echo ako ng lecture sa mga classmates ko tungkol sa Process Improvement in the Business Setting. Hindi namin 'yun natapos, kasi nauwi kami sa masinsinang usapan tungkol sa mga naglahong relasyon at mga pinaasang puso.

At bukod pa doon, iginiit pa nila kung paanong hindi gaano o lubos na maisusulong ang pagbabago at agresibong pagtutulak ng improvement sa public school admin environment (i.e. Philippine Normal University, San Bartolome National High School, Tawi-Tawi Elementary School, Guinsorongan Integrated School, etc.) gawa ng mga higanteng muog ng tradisyunalismo, stasis at power-trippers.

*** Advice ko, love comes and goes. Problema lang kapag lumisan ang iniibig mo dahil hindi niya kinaya ang ugali in general/kaweirduhan/ka-jologan/ka-yabangan/powers mo.

*** Sabi ko nga kay Krissa, "You were too smart for him. You could've been a little normal. I think you scared him off because of that air of 'college professor' you carried along with you."

*** And she confirmed what i said. Paano, imbis na ang pag-usapan nila bawat isa, eh meaning of life at "when will our souls meet nirvana" ang mga pinag-uusapan. Eh lonely expat na stuck sa Iraq ba naman ang banatan mo ng pilosopiya eh, kundi ba naman siya mag-offline status sa YM sa'yo ora-orada..

*** Malungkot 'yung tao Krissa. Ikaw ba naman, itapon sa disyerto nang walang kasiguruhan kung babalik ka pang buhay o lasug-lasog na kalamnan na lang sa pamilya mo pagbalik -- nakakahon pa. The least you could have given him is a little care, or a snuggle there.

*** Nalungkot ako sa katotohanang kinatakutan kong mangyayari sa mga teachers in general. Mag-settle sa stasis at sumaydline pandagdag-kita. Sabi nina krissa, imposibleng i-apply ang Process Improvement schemes sa mga eskwelahan hangga't may mga administrators na nakaupo sa mga puwesto na ang tanging mithiin sa buhay eh makasweldo ng maayos at makapag-pasa ng periodic report sa CHED o DepEd.

*** Sabi ko, May pag-asa naman e. Effective ang method na gamit ng Six Sigma: DMAIC. Define, Measure, Analyze, Improve and Control.

Basta lang maidefine nang maayos ung problema. Yun ang importante. It is almost impossible to deal head-on with the unknown. Para kang nakikipagsuntukan sa hangin - o sa multo.

Measure. Set your measuring rods and benchmarks. What is quality work, and what is considered as mission accomplished.

And then scrutinize the current process. Identify bottlenecks and remove any roadblocks. Pag matindi talaga ang bara, liquid sosa lang katapat niyan.

Things go well when you start repairing broken pipes and weathered walls. When things get brand new again, opportunities for improvements come in hand. Mas masayang mag-inovate pag wala masyadong mga problema sa buhay.

But then again, necessity is the mother of invention. Mas maraming chances na mag-innovate kapag may problema.

*** I just realized, where problems are, improvements are a necessity.

Then you reap the fruits of your success. But we don't stop there. We guard our successes. Now comes in the need to maintain and manage controllable variables.

Filipino style: Bathala na. But we do it in a very business oriented fashion. We let the Heavens shower the blessings, pero nasa palad natin ang kasagutan at ang inertia para gumawa, at magbantay.

Laxity kills the lazy. And we don't want to get caught unattended. We keep watch.

*** Love? There are rooms for improvement pagdating sa relationships. We think about how our relationship runs the path of life. We keep what keeps the love alive, and we weed out what dries or damages our relationship.

*** Naisip ko. Gusto kong ikumpara ang business sa love. Siguro in terms of investments, risk taking, competition, among others. Siguro yung pagbagsak lang ng business ang ayaw ko i-compare with love. Kasi, ang love, sinasalba mo hanggang kamatayan. Ang business, pag hopeless na, kundi mo ibinebenta, shina-shutdown mo na.

*** Hanggang ngayon, iniisip ko padin yung sinapit ni Krissa sa virtual relationship niya. In a way nanghinayang ako. Nagsisimula pa lang yumabong 'yung relationship nila, bigla na kaagad naputol.

Parang 'yung echo lecture lang namin sa Burger King Banaue. Was warmly received initially, but was eventually stifled due to several detractions. They were firm on their beliefs that it is almost impossible to effect changes and/or improvement in the public education system. Or that they would ever be instruments of change.

I told myself, if these are the teachers who would be teaching the generation of kids today, what then, would Philippines look like 30 to 50 years from now?

Ewan na lang.

So i'd end up at blogspot after all.

2009-06-03T21:04:00.004+08:00

I never knew life at Siemens would be so much fun.

There's so much fun i can only view Google, Gmail and the cached view of webpages. Everything else is blocked. Including our very own portal: http://www.siemens.com.ph/

And the Siemens Training Team showcases world-class skills building that no other training teams can compete with - ever.

Check our daily routine for the Foundation Skills Training (Week 2), Wave 0, Siemens US IT Helpdesk.

8:00PM - Sit in the training room
8:16PM - Get Milo from the Pantry (dos lang!)
8:40 PM - browse a couple of sites (Cached View)
9:15 PM - still browsing
9:26 PM - trainer went somewhere. petiks...
9:45 PM - waiting for Happy Tree Friends to load on Youtube.

10:10PM First 20-min Break

10:27PM - still waiting for Happy Tree Friends to load...

10:40PM - Lunch!

12:05AM - Lecture on VPN Connections
12:42AM - 8-item quiz on VPN Connections
12:51AM - petiks...
2:30 AM - Second 20-min Break (which extended for 10 more minutes)
3 AM - Went back and slept on my station
4:10 AM - browsed archived posts from Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages
4:36 AM - were asked to go home. logged off PCs.

And I'm expecting what, PhP. 16,000 on the 13th - My First Pay ever at Siemens?

Great Learning starts at Siemens Philippines. Hiring L1 and L2 Technical Solutions and IT Helpdesk Specialists. What are you waiting for? Apply now!

Grow as a Leader Now (annotated edition. silly rantings by AAH)

2009-02-05T20:24:00.003+08:00

Harvard Management Update

Grow as a Leader Now

4:20 AM Monday December 8, 2008
by Christina Bielaszka-DuVernay

Looking for the next great opportunity to build your leadership capacity? It's right in front of you.

by Cynthia D. McCauley

If you're like many leaders, you're constantly on the lookout for a new job to expand your leadership ability. And there's nothing wrong with that; new positions typically offer many opportunities to learn and grow. But they don't come around that often, and in constantly scanning the horizon, you may miss seeing growth opportunities much closer to home.

*** Yeah. But the more important question is, am i a leader? DO I HAVE what it takes to withstand enormous pressure and from the Top Management above and the rumbling discontent from the rank and file employees down below the corporate pyramid? How hard it really is to manage and oversee risks? Best of all, am i even fit to lead the rain dance for any imminent changes?

I've always told myself i never had the makings of a leader. But i am certain that i can stand behind leaders and provide counsel in aid of their decision-making.

How close? Very. At the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), headquartered in Greensboro, N.C., we have interviewed hundreds of leaders about their developmental experiences, and we have surveyed many more to learn about the learning opportunities offered by their current jobs. Our research convinces us that a leader, at any time, can take on challenges that can substantially expand her leadership knowledge and skills without significantly increasing her workload. She can do this by expanding the definition of her current position, by signing up for temporary assignments, and by embracing leadership roles outside the workplace.

*** Yep. Leadership opportunities. It's just around the corner. In fact, they just created another position, which started rolling tonight: Call Drivers SME. The Subject Matter Expert will only deal with certain issues like RAID, Wireless Connectivity, MCE setup, BSODs etc. Sadly, i'm only good at wireless.

Fine, i'm just new in the crowd. But i wasn't good enough to be noticed. So much for my leadership dreams i guess... Well, there's Kumon still. Although still unofficial, our Chief Instructor has started to introduce me as the Chief Assistant for Advanced Reading. Pretty big title for what i do huh?

It scared me. Big time. I know it's not official, and i think it's something i have to take with a grain of salt. Nevertheless, i still started buying books and self studied English. Here are some of the titles i got for myself:

Teaching English as a Second or Foreign Language, M. Celce-Murcia, 2006.
An Introduction to Language, V. Fromkin, R. Roadman, 1998.
The Art of Teaching Reading, L. McCormick Calkins, 2000.
The Grammar Book, M. Celce-Murcia, D. Larsen-Freeman, 2008.
Making Sense of Grammar, David Crystal, 2004.
ESL Grammar, M. Lester, 2008.

Wait lang. Pulos grammar and ESL teaching materials pala ito. Wala masyado sa reading. Sheeeet!! I think i'm heading the wrong direction.

But wherever you seek fresh leadership challenges, choose them wisely--certain types of challenges stimulate learning more than others. The following five types offer the richest potential to deepen and expand a leader's capabilities. To help you get the most from each new challenge you take on, this article closes with suggestions for generating vital support and feedback.

1. HANDLING UNFAMILIAR PROJECTS.

*** I remember doing this back when i was active in church work. It helps that you have a background dealing with different people groups. It helped me deal with unpredictable situations without absorbing too much of the stress. What also helped me is the constant reminder to myself that expectations and results vary as situations themselves differ from one another.

Atleast i had someplace to draw my experience from. Uncharted regions are often hazardous if not savage. We may have different experiences, but values, which are often universal, often cut across boundaries and paradigms. Having a bank of experience helps when dealing with things that are unfamiliar.

I am just repeating myself haha. It's the same deal anyway.

2. LEADING CHANGE

*** The Rain Dance. Preparing for change is beyond "chanting" and "gathering around the fire". The natives prepare their households, their fields, and their livestock for the coming change of season. Change is difficult to communicate if it will hit your team's comfort zones. Some employees, particularly Pinoys, who may have enjoyed rewarding pays and lighter workloads suddenly get frazzled and turn to disgruntled workers once given new, heavier responsibilities.

The solution? I suggest going with the gradual, subliminal influence attack. Prepare their psyche by stealthily introducing the idea or the system in a satisfyingly extended span of time. Remember Pavlov's Classical Conditioning, but do it with a twist and a whip of cream on top if it. Hehehe.

3. EMBRACING HIGHER STAKES AND GREATER ACCOUNTABILITIES

*** What is almost unbearable is if the change will create and impact to their financial security. We are talking of Job Loss, Skills Marketability and Workplace Competition here. I know people from the Top Management and bottom performers from the rank and file are at high risk to budget slashes and job losses. I know an bigger scope of support gives you more tasks to accomplish, and a bigger axe hanging over your head. I know bigger responsibilities come with bigger sacrifices.

The whole deal though, is whether i'm up for the challenge or not.

4. MANAGING ACROSS BOUNDARIES

*** I had a big dose of this back when i was with Dell CTS. We had to go beyond limits just to resolve technical issues. Think interdepartment conference calls, consultations with other third-party tech supports (Microsoft, Linksys, Fedex, Banctec, etc.) Most issues are third-party caused. Some are caused by conflicts when third party products and Dell products synthesize processes.

At any case, proactiveness ignites the leader within. Lead a group of people towards arriving to a roadmap of resolution. Satisfy unmet expectations. Everyone Happy.

5. DEALING WITH DIVERSITY

*** I have a problem with racism. I guess because i was sort of a victim of discrimination back in grade school. But i'm dealing with it. Nevertheless, this never stopped me from appreciating people of diverse backgrounds, conventions, and values. Overlooking these differences will cause misunderstanding and brew hatred for these people.

What is understanding where they are coming from? It is appreciating their qualities, healthy work ethic, understanding their needs and tailoring the best solution or response. Smoothen jagged edges. Refine coarse surfaces. Make ends meet.

All of these efforts will help us build bridges and forge lasting relationships.

continue reading here

Cracking the Code in the "who do you think you are" statement

2009-01-05T14:11:00.010+08:00

For lack of better term, i said it's a statement. But yeah, "who do you think you are" is not just your regular bitter shout back to your mean, racist detractors. It's like a lone 20-meter high billboard proudly asserting itself along major roads like EDSA. It doesn't just stand there bearing the message. It explicitly shouts the ad to your face.

Hah! I just found the last sentence above a bit ambivalent. Media advertisements rely heavily on symbolism and references from pop culture. Ads nowadays are canvases of images creatively hewn to signify a message.

They're not like 18th century public announcements impaled on the walls and poles of the city squares, where the message is written straightforward and point-blank. This leaves you absolutely no room for second thoughts or any form of confusion.

But like modern-day ads, whether in print or on TV, "who do you think you are" carries more than a message of defiance to prejudice and partiality. It sinks deep in the human seat of wisdom, where judgement and decision is formulated. It challenges the personality, the rights, the position and the authority of the biased.

I try to think of possible answers to the question "Who are we to judge?", but even before i could think of one, I wanted to ask myself, "Why not?"

* * * * * *

Who am i to judge? Have i experienced the situation of the people i'm judging? Or if i have, do i have the same capabilities and disabilities these people had during the time of the situation? And above all, did i rise above the same situation gloriously albeit all limitations we both had?

Who am i to judge? Am i beyond the pain and affliction they tried so hard to overcome? Do i have to have attained perfection from their carnal existence to gain the right to even merely speak of my indignation? And why should it matter if we have lived the same life of frailty?

Knowing how it feels and knowing the influences behind it gives an exact measure of the situation's impact to the human psyche and to all circumstances revolving around it. Such information shapes our judgement towards the situation

To judge is to conclude, and our conclusions and conventions affect our thought systems and decisions. We must go beyond guarding our thoughts to arrest any form of conflict. We must constantly think our thoughts critically; weighing our words and decisions in the scales of impartiality and common good, because our judgements define our day to day interactions with people and the environment.

Who do you think am i? I am nothing. But i know how you feel; and i know exactly how to help you draft a road map to a lasting resolution.

If you can't sleep, atleast tell someone about it (ain't i doing it now?)

2008-12-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

This night was exactly the same as the other sunday nights i've had since i joined Dell Philippines. I never got my sleep peacefully. I'd either have to take a 10 minute walk to grab a heavy meal and let the weight of the food lull me to sleep, or strain my eyes and my heart with melodramatic lines from Maya Angelou's All God's Children Need Travelling Shoes.

Or i choose another eye strain --- TV. Nothing beats eyes-wide insomniacs but the monotonous drone of late night shows, soap replays and canned MTVs. Anything to exasperate that bouncing, perked-up brain.

Oftentimes, i listen to some classical tracks from my phone: classical guitar tracks or the pipe organ version of Bach's Liebster Jesu, wir sind hier, or the Alternative Playlist containing Coldplay, Ben Folds Five, John Mayer, Third Eye Blind, among others.

But there are times when nothing really seems to work. That's when i resort to certain unconventional measures done normally by teenagers in the peak of their youth --- yep guys, you bet!

No one can deny how relaxing it is; such a bittersweet, glorious release from all pressure that's bottled within. What's sad though is that in the long run, it becomes nothing but a mechanical impulse to wear out my body and wee little junior down there to sleep.

But when all of these fail, i just pack up some clothes and head straight to the office's sleeping quarters to save myself of the horrific inconvenience i'd always expect from Rosario, Shaw Boulevard and the notorious EDSA.

And when i get there, the last thing i'd often remember after waking up the next day is how i usually type away my remaining waking minutes to sleep.

Yup. From what i recollect. I'm usually blogging.

Epitaph for a Virgin: Ang bago kong wallpaper

2008-12-09T01:14:00.003+08:00

Couldn't find a good one for days. I thought it cool to have a Ginsberg poem as my desktop wallpaper for a change.

Isang tagay sa lahat ng mga Bergginnn!!!

The Trouble with Translating the Filipino Preposition "Sa" in English.

2008-10-20T03:19:00.001+08:00

I realized that not only my students were having issues with prepositions.

I too had the same problem.

A classmate back in college reminded me of the same observation Brother Scheiter told our class about Filipinos and their problem with prepositions. He said this could be traced out from the nature of Filipino prepositions having multiple identities.

Take the Filipino preposition sa as an example. Sa may either be translated as to or at, depending on the desired usage.

ex: compare

Filipino: Kumain kami sa McDonald's
English: We ate at McDonald's

with

Filipino: Pumunta kami sa McDonald's
English: We went to McDonald's

As shown above, sa may function as to to indicate direction, and as at to indicate location.

Which brings me to a tiny problem i had a while back. I was checking a reading Comprehension worksheet for Kumon when i came across an interesting question.It's a fill-in-a-blank item which took me 20 minutes to process (See? And I am claiming to be an ESOL instructor). Here's the item:

The mattress was strapped ___ the back of the car.

Yes, it's really simple.

But it was fun to discover that a lot of people had different answers for it.

Actually the answer is to. Maybe the sentence author wants to stress out on the direction to which the subject mattress was strapped onto.

But looking at the sentence closely, the sentence is more indicative of the subject's location, as supported by the succeeding units of the prepositional phrase ___ the back of the car, rather than the direction it took to be positioned on its current location.

We may have different views about this matter, but what we should always bear in mind when using prepositions is to know what we really want to say. If we want to stress on location or direction, use the appropriate preposition.

I can never be an English Teacher: Remembering the Horrors of the Teleperformance English Proficiency Campaign

2008-10-20T03:12:00.002+08:00

Besides having a major confusion with basic grammar rules, listed below are several reasons why

1. I repeated my articles exam five times

= means i don't have a clear focus in life. Also means i have a problem with priorities; i don't know what really matters most.

2. I repeated my prepositions exam four times

= means i don't have a single clue of where to my life is heading to. Also means i don't have a single clue of why i am still stuck in this quandary known to most people as the morning-after shit.

That's sadder than being blind. I can no longer trust my eyes. They have nothing but lies to offer.

3. I repeated my tenses exam 6 times.

= means that i no longer have a grip of what's real and what's not. Delusional? Sadly, yes. Oh, let's put it this way. The human inside me could no longer see past the blur of yesterday and the looming mist ahead.

She is... she was... she's having... What's the difference in it? When for all we know, there is no past, present nor future in the time-space frame we are sitting on.

What if all we have and all we are exist on a flat, linear space? And everything else that is curved and irrational is an elaborate symphony of million disturbances created by our very existence?
I wonder how it looks like on an aerial view.

Anyway, it's just me thinking too linear. An old friend told me that's going to go against the laws of evolution andthe modern scientific thought. And that's not the way any of us think. We think like the branches of the rivers rescinding its independence to deltas and marshlands.

We think like the rivers cascading to the sea: wild, rough, and unpredictable.

And so the question arises:

Whatever happened to the out-of-the-box thinking? Is my brain dead, or am i merely utilizing 0.0000000000001 % of my brain?

A little help here...

Exploring The Kumon Method's Tenets on Discipline

2008-10-19T18:22:00.001+08:00

The Kumon Method maintains that by its practice of continuous, systematic study, with necessary repetitions for skills mastery alongside, it will not only produce highly-skilled learners, but also learners with a cheerful disposition in life and learning.

I am tempted to say that such might only apply to disciplinarian and highly competitive societies like that of Japan.

If a child's psyche is conditioned to deem scholastic or financial success as a model of a life worth living, then anything less than that is a failure, which purportedly merits suicide according to the strictest sense of the Bushido Code of Honor (and everyone is most welcome to either uphold or dispute this particular statement)

Will contentment and happiness ensue if we are financially or mentally endowed with gifts and abilities? The Filipino Society should know better. Take this classic Tagalog proverb as an example:

Aanhin ang bahay na bato,
Kung ang nakatira naman rito
ay kuwago..

During the Spanish Regime, Filipinos, particularly the Ilustrados began to be introduced to adobe and sun-baked bricks for housing construction, albeit the rest of the society contented themselves with wood and kawayan. This architectural trend underscored the gap between the rich and the poor, the successful and the failing.

However, the wise among us deliberately saw through the proud stone walls of the handsomely furnished homes of the Mestizos. They saw that not all of them had happiness decked upon their walls. Some had dark secrets gnawing through their fireplaces. Some had terrible crimes rattling in their cupboards and closets. Some tucked loneliness and death in their bedrooms.

Which brings me to my previous question. Should success always invite real happiness into our lives? Does this mean that if success comes with gifts of joy and peace, should such fruits last forever? Or do they not differ with the harvests of the springtime, which are all meant to succumb to decay?

May this not leave an impression that mediocrity translates to contentment and true happiness. It is every educator's mission to discover the potentials of all their learners to unlimited pathways to success. But nothing compares to finding inner peace and satisfaction, even if it takes giving up riches and fame.

May this inspire us to unceasingly re-examine our goals in life. Success is indeed sweet, but satisfaction and serenity are both eternal and indispensable. More than being wise, let us also listen to our hearts as well. Choosing between these possibilities shall shape our reasons for living this life and beyond; these shall remain in our hands to decide upon.

Kumon Philippines Offers Free 2-Week Trial Program this September

2008-08-25T20:06:00.002+08:00

This coming September 17 to 30, Kumon Philippines will be launching its nationwide two-week Free Trial Campaign!

The Free Trial Campaign is an activity that seeks to communicate the vision and values of Kumon to the general public. It is a two-week activity that lets other children have a first hand experience of learning with the Kumon Method. These children will be attending four class days and receive daily worksheets – all for free!

To join, see our list of Kumon centers and numbers at http://www.kumon.com.ph or call the head office at (02) 885-0226 or 1800-1888-0231 (toll-free outside Metro Manila) to inquire.

Visit your nearest center

Once you have spoken to an instructor, he or she will gladly take you through an orientation to help you gain a thorough understanding of the benefits of Kumon.

Schedule a Free Diagnostic Test

Our diagnostic test will allow us to determine a precise starting point for your child. This way, your child can begin the learning process comfortably and with confidence.

Register your child for the Free Trial

Once your child has taken the diagnostic test, you may enroll him at your nearest Kumon center. The center instructor will recommend a program based on the readiness level of your child.

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE FREE TRIAL?

We hope that you decide to enroll your child after experiencing the Kumon Method and seeing our vision for him/her.

In the long term, Kumon’s full benefits include the development of your child’s values. Naturally, these life-long benefits will only be seen after an extended period of Kumon study.

The Use of Shall and Will

2008-08-25T09:03:00.003+08:00

Many of the precise distinctions concerning the use of shall and will are rapidly passing out of informal speaking and writing. Careful writers, however, still observe some of these distinctions. The following are some of the distinctions that are most generally observed.

Simple Futurity

Use shall in the first person and will in the second person to express simple futurity. Simple futurity means anticipation or expectation of what is likely to happen, or what one is likely to do. It follows the regular forms of the future tense:

First Person

I shall go
We shall go

Second Person

You will go

Third Person

He will go
They will go

Determination, Threat, Promise

If you want to express determination, compulsion, threat or promise (willingness to do something), reverse the order of shall and will. Use will in the first person, and shall in the second and third persons.

First Person

I will go
We will go

Second Person

You shall go

Third Person

He shall go
They shall go

Special Cases

When shall and will are followed by expressions such as be glad, be sorry, be happy, be delighted, etc., use shall in the first person, and will in the second and the third persons.

If will is used in the first person, it would mean that you are determined to be glad, be sorry, be happy, be delighted, etc.

If shall is used in the second and third persons, it would mean that you are compelling someone to be glad, be sorry, be happy, be delighted, etc. The following are the accepted ways of using such expressions:

I shall be pleased to see you (not will)
We shall be delighted to help you. (not will)
You will be sorry to learn of his misfortune. (not shall)
He will be thrilled to meet you at the party. (not shall)

In giving courteous commands, you should use will in the second and third persons instead of shall. This is the form that is generally followed in giving military orders and instructions:

Corporal Smith will report to Captain Allen (not shall)
You will hand in your report on Wednesday. (not shall)
The meeting will come to order. (not shall)
Mr. Ames, you will meet with the committee today. (not shall)

Silly questions and missing Dell Tech Support

2008-06-27T08:16:00.000+08:00

As i was heading to Tektite last night, some stray thought jumped into my head:

If we could just disappear infront of anyone at our willing and pass through walls unhampered , will the words "facing the music" and "being a man" lose its sense?

Wow. That sounds profound.

I had thought of that a million times in the past. Those were the times when my stupidity's at it's best, and i have officially evolved from idiot to pre-caveman.

If we had a choice, i know most of will just simply run away from our problems and totally forget about it. Some would resort to getting themeselves entangled into more complicated relationships. Some would even take away their lives just to ease the pain they thought they could no longer handle.

Some simply move on.

I wish i could do the third one. But there's a part of me who would always find comfort on reliving the sweet life as it used to be.

If living thislife is in being chained to coils of despicable memories, will the silence in death heal my raging wounds?

* * * * *

Now, while the trainer was discussing the difference between a Cold Transfer and a Warm Transfer, another question suddenly popped off my head:

If there exists a cold-blooded murderer, then have you ever met warm-blooded one?

A cold-blooded murderer takes on his kill without showing any trace of remorse or guilt. They would usually chop someone's head like they would on garlic cloves.

Hmm... I know a lot of people who could be warm blooded killers. But a cold blooded killer?

At some point i thought i could pass for one.

* * * * *

The Verizon Tech Support is way beyond insufferable. The knowledge base is way too complicated. Even the documentation tools make my eyes and brains bleed to death. I wanna go back to Dell

Please...

POEM: Space is Just a Molecule Away.

2008-05-02T10:21:00.000+08:00

"There is too much space between us

i could hardly breath."

- After A. Kierulf's "Spaces"

Air molecules naturally gravitate
towards a body of any given mass,
a thick blanket held together
by force.

* * * * *

We do not create such behaviors
The ideal man seeks to co-exist
peacefully with his environment.

(scientific perspective (slash) reality check)

Man is a higher-order mammal.
Hence, the Agression for Territory

They mark down their domains with
ineffable imprints;
cutting past the throats of the Amazonia,
strangling the bowels of the Mediterranean,
let alone the gastric juices
breaking down chemical bonds on
cooked (processed) meat and veggies.

(Explanation: the existence of Taiwan,
North Korea, East Timor, Western Africa and
several Post-Soviet States)

* * * * *

Gaseous compounds often exhibit certain
properties akin to the Human Society

Initially nomads, they roam the deserts and
marshlands endlessly. They merely exist
to exist.

La vida es sueño.

Alliances are forged due to the call of times;
molten heat and thermal pressure at interplay

The same forces ripped the Western Treaties to shards;
genocides and A-Bombs insclusive of the package

* * * * *

Do not complicate matters.
We all just need some space

No Man is an island.
But anyone can emulate the Brownian Motion

* * * * *

Gases abound where space is the rule of thumb.

CO2, H20, 03, CFC. The list goes on.

Comes in islets, vapors or 10KG tanks

Take your pick.

* * * * *

"Man, gimme sum space!"

- some guy barking on his girlfriend

germs sa laway ko.

2008-04-22T22:16:00.000+08:00

I brush my teeth to kill germs
in my mouth.

But they don't die.
They spread their numbers exponentially

Tiny pools on my pllow sheets
back of my classmate
shirt of the guy next to me
subway railings.
kitchen sink.

Prophets of doom or mere annoyance,
Theotokos.

They're everywhere.

quotation

2008-04-15T17:53:00.000+08:00

aah: the least i could get from my misery are good poems.

ate marie: there is no better poem than the one that is lived.

Resetting Password in Windows XP and Vista the hard core way

2008-03-29T08:45:00.000+08:00

For XP:

Restart the computer and boot to safemode with command prompt
Select Administrator account (not password protected)
(with the cursor visible) type: net user
Then press enter. Look for the user account to unlock
Then type: net user [user account name] * (space between the user account name and the asterisk)
Press enter
Then it will ask for a password – just press enter
Then it will ask for confirmation – just press enter again
restart the computer and see if you will be able to access the previously password protected account already

For Vista:

Insert the Vista DVD disk
Restart the computer and press F12 – Select CD\DVD+RW drive
From the screen with the keyboard layout, click on NEXT
Select Command Prompt from the Repair Options list
(with the cursor visible) type: net user
Then press enter. Look for the user account to unlock
Then type: net user [user account name] * (space between the user account name and the asterisk)
Press enter
Then it will ask for a password – just press enter
Then it will ask for confirmation – just press enter again
restart the computer and see if you will be able to access the previously password protected account already

Courtesy of: Dell REx - Sitel Pasig Site

Quick Fix for wifi network connectivity problems - Linksys Router users

2008-03-20T08:08:00.004+08:00

If after

1. Downloading the latest wifi card driver
2. Adjusting wifi card driver settings
3. power-cycling wifi router

you still cannot connect to the internet wirelessly, do the following steps.

1. Connect your linksys router directly to your laptop
2. Go to http://www.linksysfix.com/ela.
3. Follow the prompts.

Presto! You should be connected to your wireless network in no time.
I tell you, this works like a charm. And Caveat! For Linksys Wireless router users only.

Review: Alleluia by Alejandro Consolacion II

2008-03-12T19:03:00.004+08:00

I met Alejandro Consolacion II the Friday before the Blue Notes' thanksgiving concert. From that time onwards, i then understood what Simon meant when he quipped "...ibang klase rin si AJ..." after tugging him for a heads-up as to what kind of artist will i meet in the person of Mr. Consolacion.

Oh, if i have a choice, i would always want to sit with him at every chance i could get. Heck, i could go on listening for hours to his blabberings and musings about human affairs, arts and divine interventions. Oh yes, i could even be his stalker. (Simon, you really have to drag me everywhere AJ would be.)

On the other hand, i also took the chance to find out the story behind his work, Alleluia. I now understand why his Alleluia evoked a heaving, indecipherable emotion within me the first time i heard the said composition. Though up to this time, i still would have difficulty grasping words if i were to be asked of my opinion with the piece. Quoting Mr. Consolacion, he said the piece was more of a "revelation" to him. The song, arranged in an SATB vocal ensemble, was for him an acclamation of hope for mankind. Listeners will be enthralled to find the voices ascending to a glorious fortissimo; the continuous cries of worship emanating with a faithful yearning for a coming redemption.

At first i thought i felt a certain tinge of bitterness albeit the gentle lines of the basses and altos flowing harmoniously throughout the score on the first two systems of the piece. At a certain point i felt like a blind man groping my way in the midst of darkness. I couldn't figure if it were cries of subdued lamentation or worshipful hosannas.

And then after several rehearsals i realized there were no smudges of evil-wrought bitterness at all. It was in fact more of the hopeful tarrying of the blessed souls being cleansed in the purgatory.

Of course i don't believe in purgatory, but i cannot find anything that comes close to it. It is neither a song of an anguished soul nor a moan of pain and suffering. Truth is, the first time i heard it (from Novo Concertante), I fell in love with it outright. It even took me several months before i got over it.

I just find the Novo Concertante Sopranos' overture a little too jarred than how it's suppose to have been sung. I surmise that if the sopranos shall sing the first few measures, they should glide through the continuum of the Altos, Tenors and Basses delicately and smoothly. I would have loved their rendition had their sopranos sashayed in and through the ATB lines gracefully.

To date, UE Chorale's version is the most pleasurable version I've heard so far, notwithstanding the fact that Alleluia was a one of the scores they featured in the 51st Guido d’ Arezzo Concurso Polifonico in Arrezo, Italy . I especially laud the fluidity of the sopranos as they flow along with the ATBs as the succession of alleluias amounts to an awesome tapestry of voices. But caveat; I am still having second thoughts as to how the their sopranos attacked certain intense sections (but yes, it's generally satisfactory)

The Basses also did a great job with controlling their dynamics, when some of their parts are susceptible to a graduating intensity, leading to an unanticipated rough sound. Likewise, the rich, sonorous Alto parts furnished a pool of sweet tears for the rest of the voices to delve in, giving the intertwined voices an upwelling impression.

I am pretty much satisfied with UE Chorale's version, though i am looking forward to witnessing choral groups perform their renditions in the future with such tour de force, enough to draw forth blissful hymns of worship from their audience.

Check out Alejandro Consolacion II's Alleluia as sung by UE Chorale: http://anglihimngcoldfusion.multiply.com/music/item/15

POEM: (lipas gutom)

2008-01-26T06:05:00.000+08:00

You look at hunger like the easiest enemy to conquer.

You wield your wrath with the spoon on your hand, and then plunge it deep down the steamy mound of sinandomeng rice topped with cabbage slices, potato chunks and pork slabs.

Pork broth upwells, canyoning the proud heights of your rice meal. The grainy ridges seek to sustain itself through limestones of deep-seated potato pieces. The poison of crushed peppers seep into cereal flesh, exorcising the stench of desecrated slaughterhouses from its sinews.

* * * * *

The smoke of the kitchen casualties rise on every bowl, captivating the lustful, the mighty and the greedy, dragging them to the sacrificial altars of grace, and craftily drowning them into a meaty sensation only the masters of stews pots can achieve.

Behold the unsung conquerors of both master and slave. They sit at the kitchens enduring several bouts with steel knives and earthen vessels, with perishable spoils and winter-bound produce and with unruly house urchins and elements of pestilence.

And yet we leave their homes without any credit to their astounding spoils.

* * * * *

And here you are, a willing captive before a table of feast; feet locked in place and mouth hanging agape. Your head stirs you to other lands and commitments; tabulating the details of your day before your eyes in several bullets.

But the singular commandment rings in your ears. Eat, drink and be merry.

And in a raging silence, you do so.

It's a non-smiley day today.

2008-01-22T21:55:00.000+08:00

It's a non-smiley day today.

1. Dean, my brightest student for this season, is flying back to Seoul tommorow.

2. I haven't checked his long exam yet.

3. The Dell CTS account will be pulled out from Clientlogic-Sitel 90 days from now.

4. I feel shitty today - sleepy too...

5. I just realized i wasted another PhP 1000 for a 50ml Nautica Blue.

6. In relation to that, i also realized that i won't have much money to move out to a new place come the 31st of January.

Oh i'm so dead.

TULA: Tungkol sa mga sugat

2008-01-05T01:40:00.000+08:00

May pait ang kahapon
na parang naninikit na
mantsa.

'di nakukuha
sa paulit-ulit na
pagkukusot ng mga
mata,

o sa ilang panahong
pagbabad sa mabagsik
na asido at batya-
batyang luha.

Minsan kailangang na lang
itapon sa basurahan,
upang di na makasikip pa
sa mga bodega ng puso

kailanman.

AAH.

POEM: K-2 Art Lessons for Silly Grown-ups

2007-12-23T06:36:00.000+08:00

Run.

Run like no road lies ahead of you.
Dart like a stray dot across the endless void.

The Land is but a uniform stretch of weeds and crevices
null of happy colors and fluttering butterflies.
No road signs to look on
and no gutters to guide you either.

All is but an endless
stretch of barren land.

No double-breasted mountains
like kindergarten students usually
scrawl on their drawing sheets
during art classes (no matter
how much you throw your sight
to the farthest end of the horizon),

no daisies and tulips strewn
all over the fields

and no suns and clouds and even
birds to perk up your paper-perfect life.

Just a blank sheet of paper,

plus shades of gray,
plus lines of sullen wrinkles,
plus an array of rocks and stubborn soil.

Now, what are you
waiting for?

No crowd's gonna cheer for you.
No bottles of water to
douse your panting body
No finish lines to run for either.

You have but the whole of
eternity ahead of you.

Run

Posted July 06, 2007 at 12:01 AM Mla Time.
Edited December 23 2007 at 10:56 AM Mla Time

Pinoy solar car goes public (and across the Celebes Sea)

2007-10-18T06:51:00.000+08:00

A week ago, Kaiser texted me re: his flight to Australia on my old number (darn, he still had my old old number).

Arvin, check Phillipine Daily Inquirer ngaun. Alis na kami. Please pray for our solar car team to Australia

Oh. So it was them whom i saw on the news weeks before he sent the message. Too bad i forgot to get my hard copy of the Inquirer. Good thing i always have soft copies of it available on my email inbox.

Finally, a Pinoy solar-powered car is out not only for the Filipino Public, but also for the rest of the world to see. I've been mulling for green technologies like these since grade school, and with the wake-up calls environmentalist groups have been trumpeting desperately since the 70's, i think this is a long overdue solution to the oil price hikes the languishing Juan De la Cruz has been muttering in his fatigued sleep for ages.

My upbringing taught me few basics any third grader knows about man, energy and the environment. And i know how much my conscience presses too heavily on me (and i hope it doesn't wear out); i'd either end up resigning to that post if i was the official burdened with that task or dry up my bones till i get the job done.

1. Coal and oil supply will certainly not last long (hopefully not as short as what the Olduvai Theory proposes)

2. Oil price is currently at $80.00; an all-time high cost surpassing even the price hikes of the 80's, and altogether posing as an unbearable burden to the Pinoy PUV operators

3. Gas emission brought about by fuel consumption will

a. add up to the greenhouse gases polluting our atmosphere, thereby worsening the global warming situation.

b. melt the ice caps which will raise the sea level, eventually submerging coastal cities.

c. induce the prevalance of respiratory ailments and diseases.

d. induce unnatural acidity of precipitation, hence the meteorological condition kids know as the acid rain.

e. eventually kill or mutate species that can't handle repeated exposure to toxic gases and acid rain.

And at the same time, i am aware that a shift from oil-dependence to clean-energy dependence entails schemes of implementations that may be too pricey it would cost major industries and world economies dearly.

So you see, two critical choices are at stake. If i was the CEO, i would have pushed for a shift to renewable energy usage. But then i have to get myself ready to either face the ire of economic moguls or head towards bancruptcy.

On a second thought, i wonder if i would really stick to that choice or whether i'd end up giving way to peer pressure, like i did once during my brief stint at a student council back in high school.

Anyway, my prayers are with Kaiser and the rest of the team. God bless the Philippines.

* * * * * * * * *

You can check the Phillipine Solar Car website at: http://www.philippinesolarcar.org/about/

* * * * * * * * * *

P.S. (dated 2:04 AM Mla Time, Nov 3, 2007)

Hahaha. Im so proud of Kaiser (and company). Akalain mo, gitnang-gitna pa siya.

I really don't care if they only got as far as 11th place. Basta ang importante, it's one of the many reasons why i'm proud to be Pinoy.

Partida, hand-made pero exquisitely finished. And most of all, well applauded pa.

Congrats!

Another excuse to be sad

2007-10-12T17:33:00.000+08:00

Na-miss mo siya.

So you showed up, all smiles; packed with a baggage of feelings that has never changed despite the weathering of the storms and seasons. There's this contented, dreamy smile streched in your face, almost anticipating a big hug or a hearty chat over a cup of coffee. You just really thought you could pick up from where you left off.

Sadly, everybody else has already moved on except for you. You were unfortunately stuck in a frozen time-space dimension where things and hearts were arranged in a very orderly fashion you used to be familiar with. You fan the flames to relive the old attachment, but all along you always knew that things are not going to be the same as before.

And so the feeling fades away unrequited.

Alerts from Inquirer.net, Thursday, October 4

2007-10-04T15:28:00.000+08:00

Just read a lot of meaty news today.

UN chief says 'strong message' delivered to Myanmar rulers

Now United Nations comes in. I wonder how UN special envoy Ibrahim Gambari actually brought the message to the Junta. Been seeing countless deaths and displacements even among the burmese ethnic groups on the news too much i wonder what hearts do they have.
(photo credit: http://www.uscampaignforburma.org/)

I ask myself, what if i was one of these monks? Would i stand up for the country, or would i run all the way to the jungles of Apayao with my siblings in tow?

But you know what, news of an international journalist getting killed while covering the mass actions at Burma, plus pictures of thousands refugees displaced due to military actions gives me the creeps. And this is so disturbing.

Suddenly, flashes of doomsday scenarios cascade before my eyes. Soldiers swarming the streets. No network coverage. No internet connection. Food hoarding.

Fire from heaven?

I understand the criticality of UN's role in striving to implement peace and respect for human rights among nations but apparently, mass bloodshed and political detentions isn't enough for them to step in to the mess. But somehow, my leanings tell me that in the simplest sense, you can't just meddle with internal affairs.

To which the China factor comes in. China, including Russia, vetoed last year's UN Security Council Draft Resolution on the Myanmar situation, as they are in agreement that the Myanmar situation does not pose as a threat to international peace.

But what about the 3000 villages obliterated by the Myanmar Junta? And the million refugees left in its wake?

* * * * * * * * * *

I've read from Inge Brees’ paper published at the Harvard Asia Pacific Review how the Junta Generals chose not to meet the ASEAN envoy, but then received the UN envoy few weeks later. I know this is indignating for the ASEAN leadership, and it just adds up tension to the region.

So ASEAN is just some mere decoration after all, with no real political power to wield...

At least Brees is optimistic that now UN has gathered momentum for them to enter into the picture, an international collective action is waiting for release. Too bad the credibility of ASEAN got dragged along like a POW tied on the back of the victor's chariot. Inutil na Kapulungan, if i may put it in Filipino.

And in the end, i still don't get it. How come such dehumanizing conditions have been perpetrating for more than 20 years? Never mind ASEAN. How about China --- nah, they did the same thing almost 18 years ago at the Tiananmen Square.

Nasaan ang konsensya?

* * * * * * * * * *

ABC Studios sorry for racial slur on ‘Desperate Housewives’

Below's an excerpt of the infamous script lines

MD: Susan, I know for a lot of women the word menopause has negative connotations. They hear aging, brittle bones, loss of sexual desire…
Susan: Before you go any further, can I check those diplomas? I would just like to make sure that they’re not from some med school in the Philippines...

Ha! There goes the Filipino Inferiority complex again. Yep. Similar to what Maya Angelou observed among Blacks of her generation. Centuries of Diaspora and Segregationism wrought an almost irreparable damage to the Black Identity.

Is the sting of colonization extremely deep-seated that we react to every preindication of slander to our race? Do we always have to demand a piece of our dignity before the mercy of the superior races. Isn't that altogether detrimental and denigrating to our culture and race?

Sometimes, it takes the grace of a saint to overcome such a psychologically damaging experience, or to even get stoic over any derogatory remarks thrown on you. And i agree with Dr. Bautista. We should have a fair idea of how much we are truly worth. It all boils down to our roots. If we are raised brimming with dignity and self-respect, we shall not be moved by just a mere wave of insensitive or irresponsible speech.

But behind all the parlaying and rationalizing, i must say i'm still offended by the statement. I watched the 3 minute clip over and over, and really, the context is offending. If what DH character Susan Mayer saw on the diplomas was the Faculty of Medicine & Surgery of the Royal & Pontifical University of Santo Tomas or the UP College of Medicine, i wonder what more could she have said...

It just reminded me of the Malu Fernandez Fiasco. And i don't even want to get started with it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Legendary California university puts courses on YouTube

UC - Berkeley is now officially online. They just posted video courses on peace and conflict studies, bioengineering courses, and a science class titled "Physics for Future Presidents". You can check it out at UC - Berkeley YouTube link .

I'm waiting for the University of Iowa Writing Center to post video biographies of my favorite writers.

* * * * * * * * * *

Iranian President Ahmadinejad speaks at Columbia University

Excepts from Columbia University President Lee C. Bollinger's opening address:

Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator, and so I ask you, why have women, members of the Bahá'í Faith, homosexuals and so many of our academic colleagues become targets of persecution in your country?"

"Why do you support well-documented terrorist organizations that continue to strike at peace and democracy in the Middle East, destroying lives and the civil society of the region? Frankly, and in all candor Mr. President, I doubt that you will have the intellectual courage to answer these questions, but your avoiding them will in itself be meaningful to us. I do expect you to exhibit the fanatical mind-set that characterizes what you say and do. (italics and emphasis mine)

Wow sir! You've got the balls! I personally won't have the same courage to issue such strong statements. Like what i believe, i shall never be a man of renaissance. I don't even know my algebra and calculus at all.

At the moment, I am waiting for my savior.

IN MEMORY OF TITA MEL: Ang Coñong si Inday

2007-09-27T10:28:00.000+08:00

Imagine if the guy known for quoting: "when-it-rains- it's-four" meets Inday...

Got this from email and have received parts of this through SMS. It reminds me of another childhood fragment i don't know if i want to cherish or not.

We have a 3rd or 4th degree Aunt who used to stay with us back when we were still in grade school. She is more or less similar to this Inday i am posting about except that im not sure if i could actually call her the family's governess. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like the idea.

I remembered her as a living embodiment of anything tyrannical. She would always pinch our ears to a numbing twist each time we give unsure answers to her review questions. She would glare at us when we forget our multiplication table. She frowns at a sight of a 7/10 quiz result. She wants nothing but perfect.

There's only one good thing i remember about her though. She has the power to halt our Papa from mindlessly whacking our asses blue-black out of anger over a 25/50 Periodical Exam.

If i am to draw a hierarchical chart of who's who in our home, Tita Mel will be 3rd in authority, after Papa and Mom. She can make decisions about running the households. She can also assign special tasks to some of the househelps if it calls for.

She's a BS Psych Summa Cum Laude from St Paul's University - Cagayan... Batch 1979 i think...

But what else would i call her? Besides her being our official Home Tutor (and she does more than regular tutors do), she reports to our parents directly, She keeps track of our Vitamin or Medicine regimen. she reports to our Mom in oftentimes a very humuliating manner all quiz results that are 6/10 or lower. She monitors our siestas and bedtime rituals. When we get sick, she looks after us as often as our parents do. She even writes letters to our teachers for concerns re: grades/classroom behavior reports.

And, like any governess does, she has partial control over the maids and boy helpers at home.

Excerpts from conversations and hearsays re: Inday:

**************************************

She was reported passing her CV sa HR ng HSBC - Alabang, CVG - Alabang and eTelecare Alabang to apply as a Business Communications Consultant for the Operations Group of the aforementioned companies.

**************************************

"Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession.. ."

- Inday, tumatangging makipagtsismisan sa kabilang bahay

**************************************

Speaking - 9.0
Writing - 9.0
Listening - 9.0
Reading - 9.0

- IELTS Results/scores [International English Language Testing System] ni Inday noong nagbabalak mag DH sa London.

**************************************

"Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!"

- Si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate

**************************************

Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with sub-standard aesthetics, the unergonimically engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavator impacted the boy's anterior cranium inducing a benign abcess at the left temple near the auditory canal.

Amo: [nosebleed]

**************************************

1. Fendi handbag
2. Balenciaga sandals
3. Manolo Blahnik high heels
4. Chanel fur coat
5. iPod video 80gig
6. Motorola Razr dolce & gabbana edition
7. Sony Bravia flatscreen plasma tv
8. Aquamarine diamond wristwatch
9. Louis Vuitton travel bag1
0. Obagi system skin care line
11. Shisheido cosmetics
12. 1 week off vacation spree at the Bahamas

- wish list ni Inday for Christmas. Nakadikit sa refrigerator ng amo niya.

Amo: [nosebleed]

**************************************

Bachelor of Arts with distinction in Rhetorics,
Major in Content-Based Grammar (Honors Class),
Minor in Applied Discourse Analysis and Cross-Cultural Communication Dynamics.
National University of Singapore, 1979

(Maid siya nina Mr. at Mrs Chen, 2 doors away sa unit ng amo ni Delia Maga)

Masters in Oral-Aural Communications
with Post Graduate Studies in Pediatric Psychology.
Ateneo de Manila University 1985

(working siya under Mr. and Mrs. De la Salvatella as Governess and Liaison to the De la Salvatella Butler)

PhD in Early Childhood Education
with honorary degrees in Applied Biokinetics
and Clinical Pediatric Psychiatry"
Stanford University, under Rockefeller - Fullbright Scholarship, 1989

(nag-sabbatical leave daw siya kina Mrs. De la Salvatella)

Diplomas in Traumatics, Emergency Care and Paramedic Sciences

Certificate in Horticultural Arts (garden arts)
with Specialization in Olericultural Science (vegetable production and growing)

Cerificates in Household and Small Enterprise Economics

- credentials ni Inday sa kanyang CV upon applying for the position of governess

**************************************

"The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically. And after several minutes of simmering the broth, it seemed that the situation has become irreversible. I do apologize. Utmost care will be taken next time."

- Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam na niluto niya.

**************************************

"How dare you insinuate such a diabolic action coming from a scratch of society like you?"

- Inday, (kaaway yung katulong sa kapitbahay)

**************************************

"I'm not extremely goodlooking but I have a sense of humor. I'm not breathtakingly intelligent, but I'm relatively witty. I'm just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting your acquaintance.

So, hi."

- Dodong, hardinerong nakikipag textmate kay Inday

**************************************

"Don't come near me if you have no intention to get close... Don't make me fall for you if later you'll just make me cry. And don't make me love you if later you'd just leave me all alone and broken."

- sagot ni Inday sa text ni Dodong

**************************************

"Listening to nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic avenue for entertainment.
It certainly is detrimental to the good of society. I hate character assassinators! "

- reklamo ni Inday nang nachismis siya ng kapitbahay

**************************************

Dear Sir/Madam:

Attached herewith is the list of proposed purchase orders and expenditures in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have taken liberty to make initial survey of current market prices.

Please note, however, that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and market demand, which we also monitor on an hourly basis (via Bloomberg TV).

- si Inday, nagpapaalam para mamili ng pang-carpentry at cleaning tools sa ACE hardware at para mamalengke

**************************************

"Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."

- sabi ni Inday sa amo niya nung humingi siya ng 2-week vacation leave (ang taray!)

**************************************

Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda..
Ay o nga pala, inglisera ka na pala ngayun, would you please buy many fishes for this week's meal?

Inday: Judging your statement, i believe you meant a variety of fish. The term 'fishes' although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before i go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? fillet or flanked? deboned or salted?

Ahh.. given the meager budget apportioned by this household's quasi-peasant class taste, i assume i should source the staple "galewnggeng". Shouldn't I?

Amo: Leche!

**************************************

Dear mother,

Had it not been for the stench of salt, i must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the infamous acident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily-run scholastic institution due to several delinquency complaints. Oh, such an idiosyncratic bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such stressful employ!

- Inday

Dear Inday,

Walanghiya ka!! Magpadala ka ng pera!! Nasa ICU nanay mo, dumudugo ang ilong sa kakabasa ng sulat mo.

- Tatay

**************************************

Don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this not-so-luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the world. I want to express and enrich my individuality through reality-based, dynamic experiences.

- Inday, nagrereklamo kasi ayaw sya isama ng amo nya sa Enchanted Kingdom.

**************************************

Stop your raucous behavior! I could have sent for the police officers if i was in Singapore, I tell you!! This pandemonium is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment inflicted upon you.

Your personalities are truly in no match with the pristine regal manners of my singaporean sitee! You shall answer to your parents when they get home!

- litanya ng sermon ni Inday to Kids nang nahuli niyang nakabasag ng mga antique vases habang nagto-touch taya ang mga ito sa Ante-room.

**************************************

Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose which raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures, (as french fries are prepared), they produce voluminous amount of free radicals in the body instigating ageing, pulmonary embolism, abdominal inflammation, intestinal cancer and obesity. One french fry is worse than one cigarette.

- Sagot ni Inday sa amo nya nung tanungin sya bakit di sya nagluto ng french fries (nutritionist din pala si Inday!)

**************************************

Love - a highly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise, and the lips to pucker!

- Inday gumagawa ng blog description niya sa livejournal at blogspot account niya.

**************************************

“Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they stay. Leaving can be a tough act, & it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so…”

- comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA.

**************************************

Factoids:

"Chic, head-turner and internet-savvy - Can you beat it?."

- shout-out niya sa Friendster 2 hours ago.

**************************************

"Collantes-Arranzamendez"

- married name daw niya na nakasulat sa Marriage Contract niya nang nanaginip siya

**************************************

1. Oh, for Chrissakes!! !
2, Excquuuezzze Meee???
3. Get out of here! Are you serious??
4. Duh!
5. You said what now?!

6. This is ridiculous!!
7. You're getting into my nerves missy!!

- common expressions ni Inday esp. 'pag mejo asar na siya.

Work Work Work Work Work Work Work

2007-09-24T05:11:00.000+08:00

I always get this feeling of unusual fatigue everytime i wake up from the sleeping quarters or from a 2 hour nap before heading to the office for the night's shift.

I remember rushing to the bathroom and hastily washing my body with an eerie mantra running in my head: Work work work work work work work work work work...

Yes. Work, sweet work...

...work work work work work work work work work work work work wokr wiorkm wjerklr jrlek wrokw rorkw orkw worker worklw wiropwe workl wkirow w...k...

Ah.. Imagine. Mid-life crisis at 22.

Or probably i'm just suffering from a certain psychological upheaval (read: burnt-out candle; exhausted water reservoir; severed rubber band)

Sometimes i wonder why do i have to go through all these unreasonable loads of stress. I look at those guys sitting leisurely at McDonald's or Starbucks, hands warmed on cups of coffee or ears sealed with iPod earphones, oblivious of the chilling Mall breeze or the shoppers' usual hubhub.

They may have issues to deal with when they get back to their workplaces or homes but i guess they have moms or maids to look after their laundry, or a dad to play golf with every other weekend (most dads like this maybe a lot scarcer that what i know but see, as long as there's a dad around, that's fine.) Siblings would be the least of their problems (except for those who share PCs or PSP 2s); they have office colleagues to ogle at anyway.

They dont worry about what would be tonight's dinner or tommorow's lunch. They don't worry about how much bus fare do they have to spare to get through the week. They don't have to worry as much as i do (i said much becuase a lot of people have house rents to pay, but are not saddled with so much anxiety when they think about it).

They worry about other things. Like how to please their girlfriends. How to patch-up broken hearts. How to fix my 160 GB hard drive. How to sneak out of the house to catch the next Muziklaban Rockathon while grounded for a week . Et al.

So little time, try to understand that i'm
Trying to make a mood just to
stay in the game
i try to stay awake and remember my name...

Yeah, if this is how Mid Life crisis tastes like, then i'd rather have ginisang ampalaya everyday.

LYRICS and REVIEW: Mitten wir im Leben sind. Opus 23 No 3 - Mendelssohn

2007-09-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

I heard this German Reformation hymnal first from the Ateneo Chamber Singers --- and i oughtrightly fell in love with it. Before i got my hands on its English translation, i somehow felt the song communicating a very strong declamation of God's grace outshining the glaring tribulations of the earthen race.

And i was somehow right. This is actually a hymn sung for the sick or dying. A viaticum to the frail human body, the song sweetly pleads before the Mercy Seat; imploring God's eternal goodness: In the midst of death the jaws/ Of hell against us gape./ Who from peril dire as this/ Openeth us escape?/ 'Tis Thou, O Lord, alone!/

Here we see the astounding faith of the persona in the hymn, as depicted by the earnest pleading of the basses and tenors on every first set of the piece, expressing the redemptive work of the Lord. As the sporanos and altos join the male soli in a rising peal of voices, the song furthermore declares the consumate nature of the Salvator Mundi in a majestic vivace:

Heiliger Herre Gott,

Heiliger, starker Gott,

Heiliger, barmherziger Heiland,

Mitten wir is somehow comparable to a psalm sung by David when he succumbed to temptation and fell from Yahweh's grace. Each line reflects the cries of every man sunken deep in the pits of despair. And as the hymn waltzes towards the end, the choir triumphantly calls upon the redemptive nature of God: Leave us not to fall in death,/ From the hope of Thy true Faith,/ Lord, have mercy!/

I had a non-enthusiast (a school admin journalist) listen to it. She was so moved and impressed by the piece she had me play the piece twice for her pleasure. And thus i confirmed the powerful message reverberating from its melody and lines. Truly, every deep-seated lamentation touches not only open hearts, but God's as well. Mitten wir is definitely a dramatic, soul-stirring choral piece to listen to and study with. I hope the PNU Chorale gets the chance to sing this in the future.

German Version:

Mitten wir im Leben sind

Mitten wir im Leben sind
Mit dem Tod umpfangen,
Wen such’n wir der Hülfe thu’,
Dass wir Gnad’ erlangen?
Das bist du, Herr, alleine.
Uns reuet unser’ Missethat,
Die dich, Herr, erzürnet hat.

Heiliger Herre Gott,
Heiliger, starker Gott,
Heiliger, barmherziger Heiland,

Du ewiger Gott!
Lass uns nicht versinken
In der bittern Todesnoth.
Kyrieleison!

Mitten in den Tod ansieht
Uns der Höllen Rachen;
Wer will uns aus solcher Noth
Frei und ledig machen?
Das thust du, Herr, alleine.
Es jammert dein’ Barmherzigkeit
Unser’ Süud’ und grosses Leid.

Heiliger Herre Gott!
Heiliger, starker Gott!
Heiliger, barmherziger Heiland!
Du ewiger Gott!

Lass uns nicht verzagen
Für der tiefen Höllenglut.
Kyrieleison!

Mitten in der Höllen Angst
Unser’ Klag’ uns treiben;
Wo soll’n wir denn fliehen hin,
Da wir mögen bleiben?
Zu dir, Herr Christ, alleine.
Vergossen ist dein theures Blut,
Das g’nug für die Sünde thut.

Heiliger Herre Gott!
Heiliger, starker Gott!
Heiliger, barmherziger Heiland!

Du ewiger Gott!
Lass uns nicht entfallen
Von des rechten Glaubens Trost.
Kyrieleison!

English Version:

In the midst of this Life we be

Though in midst of life we be,
Snares of death surround us;
Where shall we for succor flee,
Lest our foes confound us?
To thee alone, our Saviour.
We mourn our grievous sin which hath
Stirr’d the fire of thy fierce wrath.

Holy and gracious God!
Holy and mighty God!
Holy and all-merciful Saviour!

Thou eternal God!
Save us, Lord, from sinking
In the deep and bitter flood.
Kyrie eleison.

Whilst in midst of death we be,
Hell’s grim jaws o’ertake us;
Who from such distress will free.
Who secure will make us?
Thou only, Lord, canst do it!
It moves thy tender heart to see
Our great sin and misery.

Holy and gracious God!
Holy and mighty God!
Holy and all merciful Saviour!

Thou eternal God!
Let not hell dismay us
With its deep and burning flood.
Kyrie eleison.

Into hell’s fierce agony
Sin doth headlong drive us:
Where shall we for succor flee,
Who, O, who will hide us?
Thou only, blesséd Saviour.
Thy precious blood was shed to win
Peace and pardon for our sin.

Holy and gracious God!
Holy and mighty God!
Holy and all-merciful Saviour!

Let us not, we pray,
From the true faith’s comfort
Fall in our last need away.
Kyrie eleison.

TULA: pwede pala sigurong ipanggatong ang mundo

2007-09-14T19:28:00.000+08:00

pwede pala sigurong ipanggatong ang mundo
AAH.

(pasintabi kay r. tuazon)

There is not enough anesthesia to calm
the raging flames hewn in the sinews of
my bones.

At 40MG epidural morphine: "Tonight is the night of our dreams..."
Dream Big. Pinoy Ika'y Pinoy/ ipakita sa mundo./
World Class Citizens. teacher, nurse, mason, hardinero, tubero,
kahit ano basta panlaman kaldero.

* * *

You are in the heights and i am in the depths.
Hindi sasapat ang rock-climbing skills
para lupigin ang matayog mong rurok.
Itinatakbo ang gayong layo
para maabot ang tuktok
sa desired time frame.

There's no place for wallowing in despair.
Ang paggapang ay para lang sa mga uod.

But running is left for the athletes
and olympians.
Putol na ang mga paa ko;
hence, the eternal stasis.

On a vantage point,
inilingon mo sa akin/ ang mga mata mong awa./ At saka pag natapos/ yaring pagpanaw sa amin,/

rushing to the speed of light
the continuum shall accrete bits of rusted hooks
and shards of broken glasses.
Ilang libong ulit itong sasalubong
at totorete sa paningin ko.

Walang hanggang trauma,
pero walang effect sa bulsa.

* * *

Maslow's hierarchy tells me i've sunk so low.

Selah.

Hindi kailangang tumalon sa
tuktok ng nagliliyab na Strata 2000
to plunge all the way to bottom.

Just fuck up your life.

TULA: snippets on: Usapin Sa Bagong Definisyon Ng Matter

2007-09-12T06:38:00.001+08:00

snippets on: Usapin sa Bagong Definisyon ng Matter
AAH

Nag-iisa ang mga puwersa sa rurok ng di-pangkaraniwang init - sa sukatang Kelvin.
- Sir Milo Dacanay, in English. Translation mine.

Sinasabing sa malubhang init nagbabagong-bihis
ang mga bagay-bagay sa ilalim ng lupa
at sa pabagu-bagong hagibis ng mga hangin
hinuhulma ang anyo ng mga matatayog na bundok
gusali at mga kabihasnan.

Lagi namang may nagbabago sa mundo
Matter does not necessarily occupy space anymore.

Does it matter
if matter is anything you call a thing?
Massless. Heavy. Lightweight. Superbantamweight

--- Manny Pacquiao, People's Champ.
Toast for The Filipino Pride.
Sa totoong Tagumpay! --- GMA. Where you belong.
Pagsaluhan natin ang ating mga pagsisikap.
Pagsapit sa hapag, kanya-kanya na tayo. Lalangawin ang salu-salong
inihain ng Media. Sayang.

And everything goes down the drain - or the other way around
Nuclear gestations in split-seconds
The Big Black Hole in the midst of the cosmic microwave background
That sunnovabitch slurping all the galactic inunan across the universe

Tommorow never dies
puwera na lang 'pag nag-Big Crunch nang biglaan

And everything goes down the drain
ergo, matter shall not matter anymore

Cataclysm engrande.

when the sound of silence gets too loud

2007-09-02T14:47:00.000+08:00

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone...

- Simon and Garfunkel

You know someone is giving you a cold shoulder when:

1. You used to chide with each other like kids passing a lazy afternoon on a stone bench at the public park, paper planes or a couple of Makahiya stalks on your hand...

A playful bash, a poke on the ribs, a merry dash of careless laughter... the usual niceties when we simply bum around...

and now you dont.

2. You used to find trivial reasons to send any text message to each one every once in a while, not often but probably after reaching home from an occasional night-out, just to make sure everyone's safe and well.

and now it's like it never EVER happened.

3. Your gazes fall and roam freely with no fear or meeting piercing or furtive glances.

Now i do.

4. You get scalding words. Things you'd never thought of hearing from her. Such steaming words from a sweet lady.

And now it begins to hurt when you thought it never would.

You try to fix it. You make your stolen glances do the talking. You buzz behind like a dark, stubborn shadow, in hopes of getting an approving nod to "legitimize" my silly persistence.

And so you create a problem.

Paranoia?

Or is it the mere shutting of eyes from the real sequence of moments. I am your invisible man. And i am the annoying fruitfly buzzing after you.

I make a call. Four times. Four friggin' times.

You don't answer. You simply press the end button. And then the hailstorm of burning words.

And everything is fine. Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine.

Or we thought so.

I try hard to teach myself to hush; everything's going to be fine. A song on my head rings. Every little thing's gonna be alright / every little thing's / gonna be alright.

Is it?

repost. TULA: La Mesa

2007-08-25T07:24:00.000+08:00

La Mesa
AAH

1. Nanuyo na ang talinhaga sa mata
ng mga musmos na ang bituka'y ginasgas
ng tutong at tubig NAWASAng pinatamis ng Chlorine.

2. Humaharurot palabas sa
gilagid ng kanilang sikmura ang
kamusmusan, habang walang humpay
na gumuguhit sa inu-ulcer nilang mga utak
ang mga putang-ina't hayup ka!

6.24.06 11:05 Manila Time Ermita, Manila

POEM: On Remembering My Beloved

2007-08-08T03:50:00.000+08:00

On Remembering my Beloved
AAH

By the time you disappear,
and fade into beautiful light
all that shall be left of you
would be memories in still scenes
(a play i could restage in my secret theatre for free).

Of you coming out of your door
basking in the scent of Victoria's Secret,
countenance glowing with Shiseido's
(and i guess you're likewise laced
with an orange teddy-bear printed undies)

Of you coming surveying the campus grounds,
way up to our class, wisps of your hair
swimming in the crisp, daybreak breeze
(plus clickety-clack goes your Mendrez heels)

And of you asserting your discourse
before a class of forty, while i two rows
away gazes awestruck; the trends of our
opinions eventually inflecting towards yours.
(some of which would be left on
cold photograph sheets,
on small coffee talks even.)

* * * * *

and so by the time I get tired
of playing your memories over and over
like an old favorite Bee Gees album,

I shall resign to the stillness
of a lazy wednesday afternoon.

Watch the skies turn gray,
or simply wait for the stars to show up.

The dusk shall remind me always
of our real time presence;

The day when
it was once
you.

AAH. January 2005
San Antonio, Parañaque

enrolment day sa piolo del pilar.

2007-06-15T18:09:00.000+08:00

Totoo na 'to.

Ako na talaga ang magmamanage sa mga kapatid ko. So ngayon, iisipin ko na breakfast, lunch, meryenda, dinner at baon nila. Plus pa yung mga basic necessities na di ko pa nabibili (like sabon, toothpaste, toothbrush, decent clothes at kung anu-ano pa.)

They just arrived from Taguig earlier. Then we braved the crowded alleys of Divisoria to buy them uniforms, some clothes, home stuff and school supplies. What's funny is ambilis naubos ng pera ko. Kaninang 6 AM, i checked my balance and it was exactly PhP 7900. Ngaung 5:45 PM, 500 pesos nalang ang balance niya. Di ko maunawaan kung panu naubos pera ko.

* * * * *

Natutuwa ako sa mga teachers kanina. Taliwas sa stereotype ko with public school teachers,

(hahaha.. di na ako natuto. among all modern day pundits of my league, ako
pa ang may stereotype. In fact, according to my gut feeling, with
all the decay and corruption i have accumulated overtime, i will never
be a Renaissance Man.

And somewhere deep inside me is a fear that somehow, i might
not be wrong after all.)

yung mga teachers na nakaharap ko kanina were more than accomodating. To say na mapagmalasakit sila is an understatement. I was fully aware na may mini-meet silang student-class ration, pero nagbigay pa rin talaga sila. At first she was reluctant to grant my request to place them in the afternoon sessions but mercy gave way. And the look in their eyes. I could really feel the unsolicited compassion bursting from their gazes. Mapapa - mommy ka talaga eh.

Tsismosa din sila (haha) kasi by the time i've left for home, alam na nila yung buong istorya ng buhay namin. Kesyo naikwento ko na im not at school at the moment, that we're all by ourselves. I almost literally bared my self before them. Furthermore, ibinilin pa talaga ng master teacher na nag-entertain sa amin si Regine doon sa adviser niya for special attention and surrogate parental guidance.

I guess masyado na akong torn away mula sa reality ng buhay; sa reality na may magaganda pa ring bagay na nag-eexist sa mundong ito. Puro mga matatapang na teacher; mga katarayan at ka-istriktuhan nila ang naaalala ko e. Natutunaw na nga ako sa über-accomodating gestures nila - parang di evident sa pakikitungo nila sa akin yung mababang sweldo't unsatisfactory working conditions na dinaranas nila sa public school system.

* * * * *

What's also interesting is their collective effort to limit the student-class to ratio to 48:1. She showed me the list. Four out of 7 3rd Grade classes have 48 students only per class. the others would either have it on 49, 50 or 51.

Aba, malala pa pala sa St. Mary's *. With a tuition fee currently running at more or less PhP. 39,000 excluding miscellaneous fees, masyado atang dehado ang SMA teachers kesa sa public school na inenroll-an ko **. During my time (which was 7 years back siguro), 52 kami sa klase - at star section pa yun. At ang alam ko, norm yun sa karamihan ng mga klase.

Nakakatuwa. Hindi pa naman pala ganun kalala ang public school system.

* * * * *

As for me, i really have to spend some quality time with them para maturuan ko sila. I guess i have to drop by Booksale sa SM Manila para makabili ng mga kids' books. Now comes my sked.

Kung lagi kaming 3am - 12 am, , i would only have 6-7 hours sleep kasi i have tutorials weekdays at 8 pm. Or baka iaadjust ko nalang yung sked ko at 7 pm para i could go spend some time with the kids. Alis nalang ako ng 10 PM para makapanood pa ako ng Jumong sa bus.

Ang pinag-iisipan kong isingit eh yung sched ko sa Voice Training - that's thursdays and saturdays at 6 pm at yung sched Physics Training ko - na TBA pa rin. Hmm... hectic talaga ko.

* * * * *

Buti nalang pumayag yung teacher na ilagay sa PM shift yung mga kapatid ko. Otherwise, wala talagang mag-aasikaso sa kanila papuntang school. Aother concern is, atleast pag tanghali hanggang hapon, nasa school sila, which is good for us, kasi pag mga ganung oras, kalaliman ng tulog namin. And atleast, bago kami matulog, naihanda na yung lunch meal nila at mga uniforms nila.

Hahaha.. ang feeling-dakilang-kuya ko talaga sa entry na ito. Parang tunay. Kunsabagay ngayon lang talaga ako makakabawi sa kanila. For a while, puro allowance lang ibinibigay ko, at iniasa ko pa sila sa lola ko. Ampoblema ko ngayon, eh kung paano ko masisiguro na makakain sila ng maayos.

* * * * *

May call ako, name ng cust ko: Diane Macunovich.

Hmm. sounds like sonovabitch!

* * * * *

Reality check. Php 500 nalang pala natira sa account ko. Paano ito?

Let's see. Babayaran ako ni Rovie ng Php 2000 (sana lang...). Tapos kung papayag si Sir Dennis, may matitira pang 1000 nang sure sa akin. Tapos me ineexpect pa akong Php 100 every weekday. At the moment me hawak akong PhP 2500 sa purse ko. Alis na ang PhP 800 dun dahil yung PhP 500 kay Coach Ge, at yung 300 ka Ate Helen. Solb na kaya yun?

Shuks! Di pa pala ako nag-gro-grocery. Kamusta naman...

* = St. Mary's Academy - Pasay City
** = Pio Del Pilar Elementary School - Sta Mesa, Manila

juggling with my sched

2007-06-12T09:22:00.001+08:00

I have a very hectic sched for June, i have no idea how am i going to squeeze some breathing space into it.

Office = Ranges from 3 AM - 12 noon, 12 - 9 AM or 1:30 - 10:30 AM
Tutorials = 6 - 7 PM (plus 45 min to 1 hour travel time)
Physics Training Classes = TBA, midweek preferably.
BS = Saturdays tentatively, 6 PM.
Voice Therapy/Choir Practice = Thursdays and Saturdays, 6 PM
Homework Check with my siblings = weeknights before going to work.

Seems like this calls for a bottomless tumbler of Extra Joss.

theory of needs: end of quarter storm

2007-06-03T11:10:00.000+08:00

Yehey! Salary Alignment daw sa ngayong month of june. So ibig sabihin tataas na daw ang sweldo namin...

But interestingly, the Sitel management hasn't disclosed yet the details of the said alignment. Hence, the several speculations as to how will this happen. Some believe Sitel would probably just add a couple grand to the salary. Some are hopeful that they'd get as high as PhP 20K to PhP 22K for take home pay. Some dissidents foresee an additional 300 to 400 peso increase from the take-home pay - pointing out that it's just another phony scheme of the company to curb the swelling attrition rate among tenured techs.

Almost everyone here though are well aware that Sitel's base rate runs at about PhP18, 000. Minus taxes, take home pay should be around PhP 9000++. Im sticking to this assumption, as i'm hopeful that the buzz on the salary alignment isn't just a farce.

Satisfyingly enough for singles. Not for me, however.

Kasalanan ko rin. I have so many unnecessary bills. Which i don't want to disclose so i could leave a little dignity to myself, if there's anything left.

* * * * *

One concern though would be the cost of living expenses on a daily basis: food allowance (breakfast lunch dinner), travel fare and emergency funds. A healthy lunch or dinner should cost around 80 to 120 pesos excluding rice. Breakfast meals are a lot cheaper. Fried eggs with generous portions of meat (longganisas, hotdogs, galunggong, chicken slices, meat loafs etc...) should not cost you more than 80 pesos.

A very ideal plan. Except that nobody's gonna have time to cook for us. I end my shift around 9 AM. And with the fastest transportation available, we'd get home between 9:40 to 10 AM. If Rovie ends up with a 10 PM to 7 AM sched, she'll get home on or before 8 PM. By that time, the kids would've already been having classes 2 hours since.

* * * * *

I don't know if i can handle this. I'd be paying the following items:

Coach Gerald = 500
Ate Mai = 500
Paul = 1000
Sir Dennis = 2000

Two thousand pesos goes to the rent. One thousand adds up to Rodel's shopping spree budget. the other 2 five hundreds are backlog items i need to pay. Assuming that i'll get an increase on the 15th, i might only have 4000 left with me.

On Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, all these goes down to the bottom of the pyramid.

Pathetic.

namfrel 07 stint: The NCR Experience.

2007-05-26T06:53:00.000+08:00

This is a long overdue post. Namfrel's Quick count has been running for 13 Days (i included Sunday, May 13 as they have been receiving election-related calls since then). Back when i first drafted this, we were currently running at about 73.48 %. But as of June 2, the percentage is now at:87.69 %. At this point, it's not about doing a quick count. I think this is what they call a parallel count - with the main goal of counting the "real votes" as contrasted with the "official votes".

political watchdog

* * * * * *

GMA's Beinte Kuwatro Oras reported last night (around 19:20 Mla Time) the cities and municipalities with the poorest turnout of ballots. Among which was the city of Mandaluyong, where according to my birth certificate, i was born (i was born in a certain Dumez Clinic).

The Mandaluyong chapter gave us so much trouble, working with it was an absolute heartburn! I remember being pulled from the North Luzon Regional Desk to help out with the paperwork backlog in the NCR Regional Desk. For some reason, i was assigned to work on the Mandaluyong chapter. How coincidental.

So i was left with an inch and a half - thick transmission forms (XFs) to sort out and consolidate. These XFs contain votes from every precinct, which has to be collated to come up with the results for a given municipality. Each XF contains about 10 precincts, which may be either singular or clustered (sometimes, precincts are clustered due to the number of voters). To say precinct here in the Metro, a precinct is a classroom representing a fraction of a Barangay.

Given that the LSGH headquarters manage data from over 224,748 precincts all over the country, the Namfrel municipal chapters are then tasked to consolidate the data by collating totals from every precincts to XFs. At the same time, they are suppose to input the data on the Namfrel server for distribution to the RDs.

Upon transmission to the Regional Desks, the RDOs should be cross-examining the Data from the Namfrel server vis-a-vis the hard copy submitted by the chapters through mail, fax or email. To accomplish several municipalities in a short span of time, the chapters should send only totals per municipality. In the case of the NCR, chapters may send consolidated data per district.

But for some reason, the Namfrel server failed to cooperate with the systems workforce of the Mandaluyong chapter. Hence, the manual tabulation of the XFs per precinct by the NCR RDOs and the week long calls to the Chairperson of the Mandaluyong chapter. which was unattended from 8 AM to 8 PM (an exaggeration, but not far from the truth).

The NCR Desk 12 days after the quick count

The sad part is, the results for Mandaluyong were drastically delayed for more than a week because of the server issue. Worse, the chapter also failed to merge the data from the precincts to make the workload of the NCR RD bearable.

Now, volunteers from Mandaluyong are currently sorting more than 500 envelopes of ERs for encoding - more than 10 days after the elections. Goodluck na lang sa ating lahat.

I lament the mishandling (forgive the strength of the word) of the data transmission process. At the same time i am annoyed by the absurdity of the situation, i am also wary of the delicateness of the issue. I would never really know what went wrong. Could be logistics. Could be manpower.

Could be mere indifference. Could be pure stupidity.

* * * * *

Another hair raising account. One time, i was following-up the XF summary with a certain chapter coordinator for submission. I called the person several times but failed to reach him. Several hours after, somebody picked up the phone. It was the coordinator's secretary. Finally, i just found out (to my utter shock) why the chapter still has 0% votes turnout as per the RD status report.

The NCR Desk was almost like this...

modified phone conversation transcript:

Me: Hello?

Person on the other end: Who's this?

M: Hi, this is ___ from Namfrel NCR Desk, may i speak to ____?

P: Oh, I'm sorry, ___'s busy and ___'s not available. Can you just leave a message or callback on Monday (for crying out loud, it's a Friday Afternoon!!)?

M: Oh no we can't i'm really sorry. We have to talk to ___ ASAP because this is a very important matter. Anyway, who's this i'm talking with (getting really sarcastic now...) Isn't this the number of ____ and isn't ___ the chapter coordinator?

P: This is ___'s secretary. Yes, __ is.

M: Is it possible for us to talk to him right now? We just have to discuss some pressing concerns.

P: I'm really sorry he can't talk right now; he's working out at the gym

M: What!!! He's in the gym right now?

P: Yeah, and i really can't get to him right now. He's in the gym kasi e..

M: Oh... Uhmm... Ok, Please tell him to get back to us because his chapter has not submitted any data yet, and we're obviously running at 0% (over-emphasis haha!).

P: Ok i'll just tell ___. (the secretary hungs up).

M: Fuck! FUUUCCCKKK!

* * * * *

With all the ERs and ballot boxes scattered all over the polling precincts, i couldn't swallow the fact how power-hungry politicians can amass such manpower and machinery to write history through countless sheets of ERs. It is just sooo mind-blowing.

I saw how people edited the official ERs to put their bets on the count on a video captur ed by one of our vigilant volunteers. People were just wiping the ERs with liquid erasers and re-writing it with the names of their candidate bets. A man probably in his early 40s was even seen on th at video talking to probably a certain local candidate and assuring the trapo that everything is running smoothly.

I'm really sorry for his kids (if he has any).

* * * * *

The reason why it took me while to have this posted is because i didn't have time to upload pictures for this post. I'd really like everyone see how it was in the HQ. And the pictures punctuates my sentiments about the Mandaluyong experience.

Cheers to all of you guys who chose to help with Namfrel than spend the rest of their summer breaks infront of their TVs or someplace else.

...course i wasn't there, I took the pic.
But if not for these guys, the experience
could've been a lot worse.

dvd addiction+realization = dawn of the truth

2007-05-15T09:27:00.000+08:00

House MD and Prison Break is driving me nuts. A week ago, i started Prison Break season 1 about past 9 PM. Next thing i knew, it's almost 20 minutes before 9 AM. If not for the throbbing pain at the back of my head, i would've stayed watching 'till lunch time.

Micheal Scoffield is not your usual pinoy genius stereotype. Of course I know, like Jen Carlos would say, ...paglabas ng Gym, everything is a joke. Well, i must say that Prison Break is one hell of a joke then!

Of all the freaks of nature, he is the best variety. No puff-headedness. No hubris. And most of all, no trace of self-imposition. And despite the Lupin-like shrewdness encompassing actor Wentworth Miller's character, you can't just help but dig way underneath the very obvious machiavellian perspective running through the series; the child-hearted desire to keep the family knitted despite insurmountable odds and Life's inexplicable jokes.

It's just sad that his freakiness doesn't coincide with mine. Maybe because i think of myself more than he does. Maybe because he's a perfect brother - younger for one, willing to go as far as leaving himself in the fray of the prison steel jungle just to save his brother's life. After all, he's all he's got in his life.

In a way, his unadulterated passion consumes me. It is literally gnawing through the callousness i've developed through the years. And though it's amusing that all it takes is just a couple of DVDs to break into the indeterminate indifference numbing my conscience, i am still adamant that i could actually come up with a closure for this issue.

I guess i'm just torturing myself because i can't be what i want to be. And with this thought framework in mind, i am somehow hoping be spared of a certain degree of relief.

But as i mull over my what-ifs and could-haves, things just end up too awry it all goes back to me fresh and vivid. And when it does, it just crushes me so bad im left with nothing but skin and bones.

Tsk, tsk tsk... I thought rantings could help me relieve myself of stress.

Apparently not. Things just get too clear i get my sight seared by the brightness of the truth.

DVD addiction and RS suppresion complaints

2007-04-25T20:07:00.000+08:00

If nothing's going to get me some sleep, i hope this one does.

For weeks, i've had bad times with my work; long AHTs, lots of unresolved calls, frequent venturings to the desktops bay just to get RS help - all because of The Marauder.

Or Wataru (that's how he calls himself, for reason's im itching to know).

Imagine pushing a magnet's north pole to another's south pole. Add the electrifying differences humming silently between us. Imagine the difficulty i have to research answers all by myself for a painful 20 minutes versus the luxury of getting the answer from your RS in 35 seconds. Imagine the trouble of having an RS you'd never want to ask for help.

I don't know.. maybe he's too annoyed of my audacious and almost reckless usage of company resources; namely running a marathon of Charmed season 5 - 8 among our Lab PCs (haha, guilty!). The TV series was just so all over me. (and oh, i couldn't imagine how longer could i have lingered on our lab PCs have i had DVD copies of Six Feet Under and Heroes with me.)

Or maybe because he's been seeing me a lot too often haggling different RSes, which by the way may be interpreted as a sign of lack of confidence to my own RS, who should be first in line as a resolution resource. Which i believe may be an annoying sight for him.

Which befits me a term from the Metro Manila Tagalog variety:

Ma-epal.

Or since i'm already running out of ideas, maybe he's just naturally annoyed on me since the day we crossed paths.

Well the good news is - Our RS is coming back - or i hope so. But yeah, i did hear it from our coach. He's definitely coming back for good.

Hell do i care if he's a Microsoft Vista SME. I'd rather have an L2 with not-so-great stats than have this "glorified subject matter expert" who harbors some teeny-weeny bias within (does he?).

But at the same time, i have this funny feeling that he is not aware he's doing this to me - or that he just means well - that he feels i don't need as much support as others do (what the f***!!!).

* * * * *

You know what, this benefit-of-the-doubt thing is a load of crap. i bet i'm nothing but a buzzing, six-legged nuisance for him. Im just glad he's out of our team for good.

* * * * *

About a month ago, i was a Charmed addict. I even bought another set of Charmed season 1 - 8 just because an episode in season five was cut towards the end of it (notwithstanding the fiasco i got myself entangled with the DVD vendor at St Francis' behind Megamall). Now, i'm so dazed with all of the Harry Potter stuff, i cancelled my tutorial sessions and our BS sessions (oh god forgive me) last tuesday.

Addiction is truly destructive. Just look at the mayhem it left on its trail.

Campaign Ads, the taxi meter game and stuff...

2007-02-02T13:26:00.000+08:00

Earlier on the cab, RX 93.1 was rolling out a text shoutout about top 10 worst campaign ads. I only got a few, but it's worth looking.

"Crazy for you..." = Miriam Defensor Santiago
"Hinding hindi ka mapapasubo." = Dick Gordon
Recto and Legarda Tandem = Ralph Loren
"Hindi ka na mag-iisa" = Juan Ponce Enrile

Too bad i forgot the rest of them. Soon as i get hold of the rest of it, i'd be updating this list.

* * * * *

The J. Ruiz - Paterno route is a trusty alternative for the Ortigas - bound landfarers in case LRT line 2 and MRT are both far from your reach. That is if you are:

taking a cab or
you're driving your own car

Anyone coming from Manila can slide into a discrete road named Aguila St, instead of running head to head with PUJs and PUBs along Legarda. However, the stoplight at the end of it would truly stretch your patience a mile high. The stoplight there lags as long as the Ortigas - Edsa stoplight. And if you're about 20 minutes short to your time in, then get caught by the red light, start biting your nails... welcome to Hell Manila.

A smooth cruise would normally amount to a PhP 115 to PhP 120. If you get stuck in the late morning rush, you'd get charged as high as PhP 150.00. A lot of times i'd keep an eye on the taxi meter to approximate how much it would cost if i get off at Pureza or at Sta. Mesa. More so, i do that 'cause i'm always suspicious of the cab man's taxi meter. The idea that cab men always tamper with the meter cablings crawls in my brain like a band of fleas on Irish beds, with my painfully obvious frequent glancings punctuating my suspicion.

* * * * * *

I hate this straight-from-the-heart effect politicians employ in their campaign ads. Like Edgardo Angara's Ang Gara ng Buhay ad. Well, with almost PhP 3,000 pesos++ to pay for every semester, who in PNU would believe that Education is free? Fine, pundits would quip education in the Philippines is free, as stipulated by the Bill of Rights and upheld by the Philippine Constitution. The hell do i care if the fees are for operating expenses. As long as you pay money for something, that is clearly for a fee, not free.And to boot, tuition f(r)ee varies from institutions to another.

Theoretical bull.

The list goes on. Mike Defensor, Manny Villar, Frank Drilon, Korina Sanchez (whaaat???).

Ah, Philippine Politics. You just drain the brains off my head.